


Dream Lover

by My_wayward_CASsbutt



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Adopted Child, Angel Castiel, Bisexual Dean, Human Castiel, Jinn hunt, M/M, Married Dean and Cas, Star Trek - Freeform, acdc t-shirt, applepie life, castiels alternate jinn universe, jinn attack on castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:55:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3651117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_wayward_CASsbutt/pseuds/My_wayward_CASsbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a hunt, Castiel is attacked and captured by a jinn where he is transported to an alternate universe where he and Dean are married with a daughter.  He plans on staying until his life drained away from him. After all he was happy right? That is until Sammy shows up to bring him back to the real word with him. He refuses at first but eventually gives in and goes back with Sam, and after a long time back, realizes that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. </p><p> This takes place at a time where Cas is human, but he still has his trench coat and suit (I personally got pretty emotional when he ditched the original outfit)</p><p>!!ATTENTION!!  This fanfiction used to be called "Maybe Leaving Wasn't Such a Bad Thing".   I'm sorry, the old name just wasn't working for me, and I kinda liked "Dream Lover" better.  So if it shows up in your history or anything, this is what it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. We Have to Go

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I'm sorry for the title change. I was just thinking the other night and I wanted to change the name, because I thought the old one was kinda dumb. "Dream Lover" just came to me and I decided it fit the story and all in all it was just a better title.

As they lay entangled on the couch, watching Star Trek, Castiel played with the amulet around Deans neck, and Dean ran his hands through the angels hair.

 A single tear ran down Cas' cheek and onto Dean's black, ACDC t-shirt making a small, dark, mark on the fabric.  
He just wished, so badly, that it was real.  He wished that this was his life.  He wished that the rings around his and Deans fingers meant something,  and he knew it wasn't real and that it was wrong to stay, but he just simply couldn't bring himself to leave.  After all, it was all he ever wanted, right? A normal life with Dean. Even if it was all just in his head.

Feeling the tear hit his chest, Dean lifted Cas' chin to see his face.  "What's wrong, angel?" he asked, with concern in his voice, as he looked at Cas with beautiful green eyes, god- Cas could spend the rest of his life (which he didn't have much let of) staring into those eyes.

 

 "Nothing" he replied with a sad smile "I'm okay, it's just-" he was cut off by a loud whine coming from their daughter, Charlie's, bedroom.  They both looked towards the stairs and back at each other.  Cas gave a look that clearly stated that it was Dean's turn.  Dean rolled his eyes and sighed.

 

"I'll go check on her" he said as Cas moved so Dean could get up.

 

"She never stops crying" Cas chuckled, with a smirk on his face as he watched his husband walk to the stairs. _No. Not my husband. It's not real. He's not real._

__

_...But hell. Why not. I  mean, I might as well enjoy it while I still have a little time left, right?_

 

Dean grumbled something. unintelligible as he ascended along the staircase,  pajama pants hanging low on his waist.

Suddenly, with no warning, a man almost collapsed through the front door, startling the angel.  His eyes were searching  for something, but quickly found it when Cas spoke.

"S-sam?"he stammered "what are you doing here?".  The younger Winchester whipped around to see Cas.

 

 "Cas..." he trailed off and hurried over to the couch where Cas was staring up at him, confused.  "Cas we need to get out of here" he said quietly, careful not to alert anyone else who might be in the house.  

"But-"

"Babe?" they both heard from upstairs "Can you bring up Charlie's juice? I think it's on the kitchen counter"

Sam looked toward the top of the stairs.  He'd know that voice anywhere. Cas turned toward the source of the voice and then back to Sam who was staring at Cas' wedding band, his face painted with mixed emotions, and then back at the stairs. "Um. Is that- Is that D-dean?", he whispered, now staring back at the angel again. Castiel felt his cheeks heat up and stared down at his hands, looking anywhere but Sam.

Sam pressed his lips together and nodded once, not saying anything else about it.   "Alright, c'mon we really need to get out of here" he pushed.  

At that sorrow covered Cas' expression.    He just wanted to enjoy this for a little while longer.  Just until he ran out of time. "No." he stated, "I want to stay".  Sam opened his mouth as if to say something and then stopped, shifting to sit down on the couch next to Cas.

"Cas... I know all of this might be a little confusing to you but... We were - still are - on a hunt.  Looking for a jinn.  You were attacked and the jinn has you.  This isn't real, Cas.  None of it is real."  he explained.

"I know" Cas muttered.

 

"What?" Sam asked.

"I know" Castiel repeated now looking up at Sam "I knew the moment I got here"

"Wait. You knew!?"  Sam put his elbows on his knees and spread his hands out in front of him as if asking a question using only gestures.  "Dammit Cas, W-why didn't you try to leave? Why haven't you done anything to try and get back?" Sam asked, now a little angry at the angel.  "We've been waiting for you to realize and wake up on your own, but I finally had to come in and get you myself".

"I-I umm." he began.

"Babe?" they heard Dean ask again.

"Never mind it doesn't matter" Sam said, standing up off the couch.  Cas was relieved.  He didn't really want to explain any of this to him. Really though, he didn't need to.  Sam knew.

"C'mon. We have to go" he informed Cas again.

"But-" Castiel started to argue, but was quickly interrupted.

"Cas.  I'm sorry.  But we _really_ have to go"

Dean came down the stairs.  "Cas? Baby, you okay?"  he stopped in his tracks and cleared his throat, eyes wide with panic, when he noticed Sam standing in the middle of the living room  "Sammy?"

"Oh shit" Sam cursed and looked back at Cas with a desperate look on his face.  "Cas, buddy, please" he handed Castiel a knife.  "You need to stab yourself with this, and we'll be back, Okay?"

"Cas please - don't", Dean pleaded, "Don't leave...  I need you"  

Cas looked at his husband, _(no. not his husband)_ eyes burning with tears.  Then looked back at Sam, who was now begging for Cas to leave with him.  "Sam, please, I don't want to go" he pleaded.

 

" Charlie needs you. .. You can stay here forever.  With me.  Please"

"Cas. If we don't go, now. You will die... Soon" Sam stole Cas' attention away from Dean's desperate pleas.

But Dean successfully stole it back, "Don't listen to him, baby. We can have a life together.  Please, Cas.  I love you."  He looked at him with those eyes. _Those damn eyes!_

He hesitantly took the knife,  tears falling freely now.  

He looked back at the family photos and wedding pictures on top of the fireplace, and smiled. _It was good while it lasted._

 **  
** "I love you, too" he looked at Dean, who didn't hesitate to jump towards Cas, making every effort to stop Cas from doing what he was he was clearly about to do.  But he was too late,  Cas raised the knife and stabbed the it into his chest.  The pain was unbearable. But it wasn't nearly as painful as losing Dean.  Of course, he would still have the real Dean when he woke up.  But it wouldn't be the same. This Dean was his husband.  The father of their adopted daughter.  This Dean loved him.  And he was allowed to love this Dean back.

~

He woke up in a dark, cold warehouse.  Feeling exhausted and completely drained of any energy or will-power to do anything. It was completely obvious to him that moments ago he he was more than likely very close to dying.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can expect an update either tomorrow or the day after:)  
> Please leave kudos and let me know what you think in the comments  
> Thanks!:)


	2. It was over

Castiel noticed that Dean was sitting in the chair not even inches away from his own, with him head hung low, resting in his hands.  Cas’ body ached so much. He was so exhausted. 

"Dean..." he breathed.  Dean's head jolted upwards to look at the angel.  "Cas...You’re alive” Dean said, more calmly than Castiel would've liked.

Cas didn't say anything in response, and just and looked down at his hands.  His eyes went wide when a saw that the ring was still on his finger. _But wait, that doesn't make any sense._ He was sure that nothing would be able to come back with him.  And yes, it was indeed the same exact ring that he had back in the jinn world.  

He tried not to think about it too much.  It was over, it didn't matter anymore.

“C’mon let’s get you outta here” Dean said as he put Cas’ arm around his own shoulder and pulled him up out of the chair.  Cas looked over at a few, tan ropes,hanging from the ceiling, that looked like they had seen their fair share of adventures.  “I-Is that where I was-”  

“Yeah” Dean interrupted. He looked at the floor, and waited for a moment trying to think of something to say. “C’mon, let's go” He finally managed spit out.

Cas limped along, as Dean slowly helped him out to the impala.

“I’ve gotta go back in and get Sammy.” he stated as he set Castiel down in the back seat and closed the door.  Cas sat back and watched Dean walk back into the warehouse, his mind already wandering back to the life that he’d had just had moments prior.  It hadn't even been fifteen minutes and he already missed it.  

He looked down at his ring again, knowing that there was no hope for that life to continue here.  Dean didn’t think of him that way, and Cas found himself repeating that statement in his head more than enough times throughout his time with Winchesters. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t think of Dean that way.  He knew if would only lead him to heartbreak and disappointment, but he simply couldn’t help it.  Ever since he had gripped Dean’s soul in hell, he had definitely felt something there.  Even if Dean couldn’t see it yet.  It was there, just like it always had been.

He glanced up from where he was staring at his ring finger and saw Sam and Dean walking out of the warehouse.  As they approached the car, Cas remembered that Sam had seen everything that had been going on in his head over the last few days.  He froze when Sam eyes met his through the windshield.  Cas looked back with an expression on his face that begged for him not to say a word.  He may not be able to get that life back, but he didn’t want to ruin the one that he already had.  Almost like he could read Cas’ mind, Sam looked at him reassuringly as if to telepathically tell him that he had nothing to worry about, accompanied with a small nod.  As Sam and Dean separated and made their way to opposite sides of the car, Cas let out a small, quiet sigh of relief.  He didn’t think that Sam would say anything about it in the first place, but he was still worried.  Anyone would’ve been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is really short, I've been really busy with school and I'm going on vacation for a few days so I wanted to update what I could before I left. I'll be back on Monday so there should be another update around then :)  
> P.S. I love hearing what you guys have to say so please leave kudos and tell me what you think so far in the comments!  
> Again, I'm sorry, the next chapter will be longer, I promise ;)


	3. The Bunker

It was a quiet drive back to the bunker, that consisted mostly of the radio, and Dean singing along to Led Zeppelin's “Kashmir”.  He was trying to particularly avoid the subject of Cas almost getting himself killed.

If he wouldn’t have woken up when he did, Cas would definitely not be sitting in the backseat of the impala right now with them.  

A sharp pain suddenly went through Castiel’s chest and it showed through his facial expression.  He wished so badly that he could just heal himself, like he use to.  But now, with no grace, he was trapped in this extensive world of ache and pain that came with being attacked by jinn, and never seemed to take a break from making him miserable.

Of course, he had his grace in the jinn world, but he didn't use it often.  He didn't really need to, at least not frequently when he was with his family or anything.  There was a time when Charlie was sick with a fever and all it took for him to ease her suffering was a touch of his fingers to her forehead, but other than that, he rarely ever used it.

As soon as he started thinking back to the jinn world, a million thoughts immediately flooded his brain. He thought about Dean, the one that he was married to anyway, he thought about Charlie, their little house on Tristale Drive, and the countless nights that he would fall asleep with Deans arms safely wrapped around him, or vice-versa. "I love you, angel" Dean would whisper to him followed by a soft kiss pressed into Cas' hair.  Cas loved the sound of it. He loved the way it just rolled off of Dean's tongue. It sounded so natural, and it felt so right, -no matter how cliche that sounded.  He loved waking up and finding Dean making the three of them breakfast in their kitchen while singing 'Twisted Sister' songs.  He loved falling asleep next to him, and watching him take care of Charlie, which he was surprisingly good at, and the way he-

Castiel was suddenly broken out of his trance when the car came to a complete stop and the radio was no longer flooding the car.  They all sat for a moment, not saying a word.  The tension and silence was painful, and Cas knew that some kind of lecture was about to be dropped on him like an anvil from the ceiling. But nothing happened.  Dean just got out of the car and walked to the entrance of the bunker, closing the door behind him  Had they already made it back that quickly?, he thought to himself.  

Once Dean was inside, Cas stepped out of the car and Sam followed. "Cas!" he called after him "Cas! Wait a minute, don't you want to talk about what happened back there?”

“Sam.  I don’t-”

“Just hold on a minute.” He interrupted him, grabbing Cas’ arm as he tried to escape Sam’s hold, into the bunker.

 

 Cas turned to him.  He took in a long breath “What?” he replied hesitantly.

“Look. Cas, buddy. I know.  I have for a long time.  And you might not see it but, Dean feels the same way-".

 

"Sam, can we not do this right now?" Cas tried to leave again, but Sam jsut tightened his grip.

 

"Just listen, ok?"  Sam persisted, "I can see it in him.  The way that he looks at you and…” he trailed off.  He opened up his mouth and closed it again, trying to come up with something to say, “But I know that he’s not going to do anything about it.”

“Yeah, I got that.  A long time ago,” He said, looking down at the ring on his finger and twisting it.

“Yeah… Well anyways” Sam continued, “Dean’s usually the one to make the first move, but I don’t think that that’s the case in this situation.  So I think if either of you want this," he gestured between Cas and the door to the bunker, "then you will have to be the one to confirm that.” he looked back at Cas, with concern in his eyes. Cas didn’t know Sam cared this much about whether or not his brother and his friend settled the highschooler crushes they both had for each other.

Cas opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly interrupted by Dean swinging open the entrance to the bunker and moving to fill the doorway with his own body.

“Hey.  What’s the hold up? C’mon these burgers ain’t gonna eat themselves.”  he looked between his brother and the ex-angel.  “Oh, umm… am I uhh, interrupting something?” he asked, not really even concerned if he might have or not.  

“No.” Cas stated, walking past Sam and into the bunker where Dean was gesturing with his hand.

“You Comin’?” Dean looked back at Sam, as he moved to make room for Cas to enter.  

“Yeah” he answered, following Dean back into the bunker.  He wanted to tell him what was going on. He wanted to explain it all to him, so badly.  But he couldn’t.  He promised Cas, and he didn’t know if it would really even change anything.

Sam was right,  Dean did have feelings for Cas,  definitely more than he outwardly showed.  But he pretended not to, because he had never felt this way about anyone before -let alone another man - and it was all so confusing to him.  Honestly he didn’t know how to deal with it.  Before, he could just turn on his charm, go talk to the girl and they wouldimmediately hit it off.  There was nothing to it.  But that was the difference here.  Because it wasn’t just some girl. It was Cas, and it was the first time that he actually cared about someone like this (besides Sammy, but that was different too).  He never knew how different it was until Cas was seconds away from dying in the warehouse. It shoved him in the direction of knowing that now that Cas was human, he was more vulnerable to danger.  Therefore, more vulnerable towards dying and that meant more likely to be taken from him.  And he couldn’t handle that.  He wasn’t ready for it.  It finally dawned on him that now Cas was not going to be there forever, now that he was human. It made him realize that if he wanted anything more than what they have now, he would have to do something about it.  Soon.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait, and that the chapters have been so short. I was super busy with school and family stuff. I can't tell you specifically when the next chapter will be up, but there will be another one :)


	4. Back to his new old life

Cas made his way to the table and took a seat.  He thought for a moment about the design of the lamp that sat in the middle of the table, trying to keep his mind off the events that happened, not even tow hours ago that were still fresh in his mind, until Dean yelled something from somewhere else in the bunker.  “Cheese or no cheese Cas?”

“Cheese” he responded in the direction the voice was coming from.

Dean started humming some Pink Floyd song, that Cas didn’t know the name of, which was accompanied by the sizzling sound of the burgers flipping on the 'George Foreman' grill they had in the kitchen. Cas thought back to the mornings that he would wake up to Dean humming in the kitchen, he remembered seeing Dean standing by the stove, stirring through a pan in pajama pants that hung low on his waist and an old band t-shirt.  He remembered how he would sneak his way up to Dean and wrap his arms around him from the back, swaying them back and forth as he would place soft kisses to the back of Dean's neck.  Charlie would let out either a giggle, or a small “ew” from her high chair, which was perched at the corner of the kitchen table, and in response they would both chuckle and turn to get their breakfast dished up onto plates.

 Cas broke himself out of his trance, thinking again only about things in reality.  He was confused as to why he had yet to be slapped across the face with a sudden speech about how he needed to be more careful and all that.  At first he was relieved, but now he was a little irritated, and normally he wouldn’t care as much but since he became human his emotions have been way more active than he would’ve liked, and he didn’t know exactly how to control them, needless to say he hasn’t gotten a hold of his new lifestyle yet, he didn’t know how the Winchesters did it like it was nothing.  Before, it was just good and bad, but now there’s a thought and feeling for absolutely everything and he was always so confused by it.  So yeah, he was frustrated with the Winchesters, (particularly the eldest one) for not giving two shits enough to even mention how he needed to protect his well-being.  Sure he brought it on himself and he didn’t want to seem like some sort of attention hog, but he wanted them to at least care a little.

Dean strides into the dining area, obviously proud of what he just created, and set Cas’ cheeseburger in front of him.  Sam came in and and sat down across from Cas as he got his own plate also set in front him.  By then, that whole area of the bunker was blanketed with the smell of grilled meat which greatly satisfied Cas’ nose as he inhaled the smell of the seasoning used to make their meal.  He couldn’t wait to taste it. Dean always made the best burgers

Dean turned and strolled back into the kitchen for his own dinner.  Cas didn’t want him to leave, because he knew that he would be left alone with Sam.  But all they did was exchange glances with no words spoken.

When Dean returned he took a seat and immediately dug into his food, making a sound of satisfaction as he chewed his first bite. He opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them, to see his brother and the ex-angel looking at him strangely. “What?” he asked, his mouth still full.

Sam just scoffed and turned to his own plate “Um… Yeah, since we've had nothing but burgers for the past week, you can eat this” he handed it to Dean, who just replied with a thumbs up and a nod. Dean had obviously anticipated getting Sam’s cheeseburger. “I’m gonna go make a salad”.

“You do that” Dean yelled back, with a look of disgust that Sam didn't see, because he was already out of the room.

“I don’t know why he insists on always making extra meals for himself, Dean,  these burgers are quite desirable”

“See, Cas? You really get it.  I can’t eat that rabbit food he puts in his system.  I don’t trust it”

Sam walked back into the room, rolling his eyes, and sat down with his new dish. They were all silent for a while, with just the sound of each of them eating their food while they minded their own business.

Cas’ body still ached, but it wasn’t as bad as before, so he didn’t give much attention to it, since he seemed to be healing pretty fast, considering the amount of damage the jinn attack did to him.  Finally having some food in his system really helped.  He hadn’t actually realized how hungry he really was until he was shoveling the food into his mouth like a starving animal.

Dean watched, eyes wide, as Cas devoured his burger.

“Ahh, I remember being that hungry” Dean said to him as he slid Sam’s burger across the table to him “here, you’re gonna want this.”

“Thank-you Dean” he replied. Cas had forgotten how Dean had once been a victim to a jinn too, and probably understands how hard it was to leave, so maybe he won’t be so hard on Cas.  Not that he couldn’t handle a little argument, but he wasn’t really in the mood at the moment.  Wait. So why was he angry with Dean for not completely losing it a minute ago? He actually didn’t really know what he wanted Dean to do.  He just wanted him to care.  That’s all.  Human emotions were weird and backwards at times, and Cas often found himself wondering if he would ever understand them.

 

Cas’ body was screaming for sleep, but he could also hear his stomach growling for more food, so he continued on to Sams burger, eating it in a short amount of time, like the last one.

When he was finished, he announced he was going to go take a nap.  

“Ok", Dean replied, "Hey, me and Sam are gonna go to the bar tonight. You wanna come?" Dean asked him "or do you want to stay and rest or whatever?”

“No, I’ll come with you, just come and wake me up when you leave”

They were going to a bar? Tonight? After Cas had just been attacked by a jinn? And they were going to a bar? Of course.  Because why would they want to stay and make sure he was okay?

At least they invited him right? It’s not like they were leaving him alone.  He just had to focus on that.

 ****  
  


He made his way to his room, limping on his aching legs. When he got there, he took his trench-coat and suit jacket off and collapsed onto the bed. It didn’t take long for him to fall into a very deep sleep.

~

 He dreamed about the jinn world.  In his dream, he saw himself with Dean and Charlie  They were all walking down the sidewalk through town, together.  Dean and Cas were both holding one of Charlies little hands, and every once in a while they would lightly pick her up and swing her up off the ground as she would giggle.  

“You almost dropped me that time, angel” she told Cas. He and Dean both chuckled.

“Did you just call me angel?” he asked her, with a post-laugh grin still on his face.

“Yeah.  Daddy always call you angel.  So I thought I should too” she stated.

“Well you see, sweetheart, Daddy gets to call me angel because he is special, but you know something?" Cas pointed to Charlie's chest, " _You_ are the only person in the whole world that gets to call me Papa, and do you know what that means?"

 

"What?" she pressed for an answer, bouncing on her heels.

 

"That means that you are extra, _extra_  special” he explained as they swung her up in the air again.

That put a very large grin on her face.  “Then I will call you Papa” she giggled.

Dean grinned and leaned over to kissed him on the cheek, but was interrupted when all the sudden Sam was there, holding out a knife to him, begging him to stab himself outside a shoe store.   _Not again_ , he thought, _this was supposed to be a dream. Not a nightmare._

__

Dean took Charlie into his arms and backed away and as Cas took the knife, he watched them beg for him to stay. It all went by so fast, just like the first time it happened.  Charlie leaped forward to grab at him, and Dean was crying _\- He was crying_  - as he tried to hold her back but failed.  Cas stabbed himself right in the same spot as the last time, right before Charlie could get to him.  The last thing he saw was Charlie running back to Dean and throwing her arms around his neck as she sobbed into his shoulder.  

 

Then he woke up.

He was shaking, sweating and his face was wet.

**  
** _Hadn’t his heart been through enough?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient! I love you all and I really appreciate you guys reading so far. It means a lot! I know the chapters have been short and it's taken me a while to get them up, but i will try and improve that. I really appreciate those of you who leave kudos and subscribe! Thank you all so much! :) The next chapter will be them at the bar. It might be a little sad but I don't know what changes i might make, so just expect that... Again, thank you!


	5. The Bar

There was a knock at the door.  Castiel sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, along with a few tears, and turned on the lamp next to his bed.  

“Come in”  he called toward the door.

It slowly opened and he was relieved to see it was Dean and not Sam coming to 'talk' to him again.  

“Hey man, we’re gonna leave if you still wanna come with us”  Dean told him.

“Okay, I’ll be right there, just give me a second.” he replied.

Dean nodded and stepped back out of the room and into the hallway.  Castiel got out of bed and slipped back into his suit jacket and trench coat.  Then moved over to his shoes and put those on as well.  He dragged himself over to the door, still trying to wake up, an made his way to the living room.

* * *

 

Dean walked back into the living room where Sam was tying his boots, and sat down next to him on the couch.

“Sam, what the hell’s been goin’ on man?”  Dean asked him, “I mean you’ve been actin’ all weird ever since we left that warehouse, and Cas has barely said anything - not that he ever says much anyways - but I can definitely tell somethings up, so uh, if you’ve got anything you feel like sharin’ with the class… then go right ahead ‘cause I’m at a loss here”

Sam didn’t know what to say. He was usually a really good liar, and he didn’t think he was being that obvious with Cas' secret.  

 

Sure, he always kinda knew that Cas had a thing for Dean, but seeing that world that Cas had created his head of that life they had together was just that last bit of confirmation he needed that would allow him to fully understand how this ex-angel felt about his brother.  And he had to admit, even though he wasn't there for very long, being in that other universe with Cas even felt right to Sam. Cas had never been alone in felling like it was meant to be that way between him and Dean.

Sam stood up as they heard Cas’ bedroom door open and his footsteps down the hallway, relieved that he didn’t have to sit and suffer his brothers eyes still wandering for an answer.

“Alright, let’s go” Cas said, as he entered the room where the Winchesters sat, waiting for him.

Sam took in a breath and sighed. “Yeah... let’s uhh, let's go” he hurried out of the room grabbing his coat.

Dean followed after his brother with his arms held out to his sides, still waiting for his brother to spill the beans on current events that he might have missed out on.

Cas walked at a fast pace in order to keep up with them, wondering what they might have been talking about before he entered the room, he thought about the possibility that the topic could have been about the whole jinn world thing that Sam barged in on, but he didn’t want to even consider that the hunter had betrayed him like that.

He made it out to the car and found them both sitting in the front seat, which meant Cas- once again- got the back seat.  They were whispering back and forth and it looked like Sam wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment, but Dean was persistent with whatever they were speaking about.

He slid into the back seat and the brothers were instantly quiet again.  Sam looked back and gave Cas a half-smile.  He was confused as to what this meant.  It wasn’t very readable, so it could have meant either ‘sorry Cas, I tried, but he got it out of me’ or ‘Jesus Christ, that was a close one', and Cas was really hoping it wasn't the first one.  

He knew that secrets didn’t last forever in this particular small group of people, and it would have to come out at some point, but he just didn’t know how or when exactly that was supposed to happen.

The drive was longer than he expected.  They lived surprisingly far from any bar that might have been even remotely close to them. It was mostly just a long wait with the Winchesters, and a 'Creedence Clearwater Revival' cassette tape.  Cas thought about how Dean would probably hook up with the first woman he sees, and he couldn't deny that it made him angry.  Sure he knew that him and Dean didn’t ever have a chance, but that didn’t stop the heartbreak he still felt when he imagined the hunter with someone else.

They arrived at the bar and Dean got out once the car was stopped.  Cas sat waiting for the door to be opened for him, but Dean just walked inside _Oh right. This is the real world_ , Cas thought.  He and Sam followed Dean actions, and entered the small building.    
  


They found Dean sitting at one of the bar stools, and walked over to take a seat themselves as the bartender approached Dean with three beers.

“To saving Cas from almost being jinn dinner” Dean stated as he held his drink up in the air. Cas took his glass, along with Sam, and gently hit it against his.

“It was actually quite a pleasant experience Dean” he defended, as Dean took the first sip of his beer.

“Yeah Cas, I’m sure it was” he replied, once again having to remind Cas that Dean can relate to his situation, “So what happened anyways, ya know, while you were out?”

Cas froze, not knowing how in the world to respond to his question.  But Sam seemed to sense his panic and made something up quick to save his friend from a very unwanted awkward situaton.

“Hey do you remember-”  he started, Dean immediately turned to hear what his brother had to say, but Cas wasn’t listening long enough to hear the rest, since the story was obviously directed towards Dean.  He was just relieved that Sam had been there to help him out of that situation.  How could he have been so irresponsible as to bring up the jinn world, when he knew that Dean would just ask him about it?  He needed to watch what he said, before it ended up getting himself trapped in a place he didn’t want to be in.

Once the story was over and they all laughed about it for a while, even though Cas didn’t hear a word of it.  Dean got up to go to the bathroom, and once again, he and Sam were alone.

Sam spoke first “Cas um, are you gonna tell him any time soon?”

Cas looked down at his hands “Why would I do that?”

“Because I know that Dean feels the same way and-”

He was cut off when Cas spoke “How would you even know, Sam?”

“Because Cas, the way that he looks at you… I just know okay?  I know because that’s how I used to look at Jess... and it’s been going on for quite a while now, and as I said earlier, I’m pretty damn sure that he’s not gonna do anything about it”

“So what am I supposed to do, Sam?  Just walk up and tell him-”  he started to say something sarcastic, but he stopped when they both looked over to where Dean was talking - no, not talking, flirting - with a brunette who looked about thirty years old.  She was giggling about something that he said when she put her hand up on his shoulder and moved closer to whisper something in his ear.

Cas was immediately filled with a jealous rage that he didn't know how to control.  He wanted to walk over there and yank him away from her.   He wanted to go tell him how much he loved him and how much he wanted him to just be _his_.  

All he could think about was what jinn Dean would be doing right now.   Jinn Dean would not be flirting with some random girl right now.  Jinn Dean would be sitting next to him, saying all kinds of things to make him smile and worrying about whether the babysitter would be able to put Charlie to bed, because nobody could do it better than Dean.  He missed jinn Dean so much.   Even though it had only been about a half of a day, it already felt like forever.  After all, he did just lose his husband a few hours ago.   _Stop, it wasn't even real_   he thought to himself.

He wanted to look away from Dean and the girl so badly, but he couldn’t, and it made him even more angry when she grabbed his hand to lead him outside.  Cas didn't want to think about what they were gonna go do.  He just wanted to go home.  

Sam cleared his throat when he noticed the look of hurt and betrayal in Cas’ eyes.  He knew he needed to either take him home or just make sure he doesn't so drunk tonight that he does something that he regrets.  Once Cas’ got up and nodded to him he knew which one that would be.

He grabbed Dean’s keys off the table and went to pay their tab.  Cas was already out the door when Sam turned around.  

 

He walked to the car and found Cas sitting in the front seat,  looking down at his hand again, this time with tears falling from his eyes.

Sam sat in the front seat and started the car, looking over at Cas with concern in his eyes.  

“It would have never even affected me like this before Sam”  Cas sniffled.  He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, and started twisting the ring on his finger “I guess now that I’ve actually experienced what it could be like, it kinda just dawned on me what I’m missing”

“Yeah, buddy, I know” Sam started the car, backed out of their spot, and drove back to the bunker, not saying another word about it.  It was clear that was all the talking Cas wanted to do on the subject right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading so far guys! I really appreciate the kudos and bookmarks! Please tell me what you think about it so far in the comments. Thanks! :)


	6. Let's talk about Cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tells Dean everything

 They arrived at the bunker and Cas immediately headed straight to his bedroom, before Sam could even get out the car.

Cas had a feeling he might have been acting a little bit like a child but he didn’t really care or know how to act any different at the moment, because frankly, his emotions were kind of all over the place right now.  Cas had done and gone through a lot of things in his extremely long lifetime and he was a powerful celestial being with a lot to show for himself, but being human was not something he had a lot of experience with, at all,  so it was a little overwhelming for him to have all these emotions and feelings dumped on him so suddenly.  So until he knew exactly how to deal with these specific kinds of feelings, he was just gonna let them all out.

He kicked off his shoes, and lied down in his bed. He even kept his trenchcoat on.  He didn’t really care about comfort right now, all he wanted was Dean.  He wanted him to come home and apologize, and lay down next to him.  But Cas knew he had nothing to apologize for.  They weren’t together and he was allowed to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, with whomever he chose to do it with.  No, Cas needed to stop thinking like that, it just made him feel worse.  But every time he stopped occupying his thoughts with that sort of stuff he would just go back to thinking about whatever Dean was doing with that girl, and that made him feel like someone just reached into his chest and yanked his heart right out and made him watch them stomp on it right in front of him.  It didn’t take him long to realize who that person was. It was Dean.

He just needed to sleep.  He did just take a nap about an hour ago, but in his defense, it was only about an hour long, and he had just been attacked by a jinn.  So he tried to go back to sleep, and to his surprise, it really didn’t take long at all for sleep to overtake him and he was dreaming again.

* * *

Dean and Cas were walking down the street again with Charlie.  The same as his last dream, but this time,  it wasn’t Sam that tried to ruin it for him.  It was the last person he would want there. Dean. The real Dean.

They were laughing and talking and swinging Charlie, just like before, stopped in front of the same shoe store.  

“Cas, we need to-” Dean stopped when he saw himself and a small red-headed toddler looking at him. “Umm.”

Cas froze, he didn’t know what to say, or do.  So he just looked at jinn Dean and Charlie and then back at the real Dean.  Then he finally spoke.

“Dean, I can explain”  he began, but he was cut off.

“Cas, what the hell is this?” Dean questioned.

“Umm.. well you see” he started to explain himself but was, once again, interrupted but this time, by Charlie.

“Papa what’s happening?  C’mon we were gonna go and watch the bees ‘member?”Charlie tugged on his hand.  Then she looked at Dean “Who is this guy? And why does ho look ‘zactly like Daddy?”

Cas didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond.  He looked at the ground between him and Dean, trying to think of how he was going to explain himself to him, but no ideas were coming to him.  So he just waited for Dean to say something.

But he didn’t.  He just looked at Charlie and smiled.  “Hi” she smiled and waved, and Dean waved back to her.  “Is your name Dean too?”  she questioned him.

“Yes” he replied. Their small talk made Cas smile.  

Dean looked to the right of Charlie and saw himself staring, wide eyed, right back at him.  It was the same look that jinn Dean gave Sam  when he came to take Cas away from them.  But this time it was a little bit different.  His eyes didn’t just show a sense of worry, but his sense of needing to protect those that he loves.  He was worried that Cas would either be hurt physically or emotionally.  Jinn Dean was that way.  He cared.  He cared about Charlie, and their lives together, and other people’s feeling, but most importantly, he cared about Cas.  Now all Cas could do was come clean.  About everything

“Dean, meet Dean” Cas said gesturing to jinn Dean.  “He is my husband”

Before Dean could say anything Cas started talking again.  “And this is Charlie,  our daughter, adopted of course.  The laws of biology wouldn’t allow her to be blood related”

“Uhh…” Dean started,  he pursed his lips together, but didn’t ever say anything.  That is until he started laughing.  Cas didn’t know what to do so he just stared at Dean inquisitively.  But he just kept laughing. Why was he laughing?  What was so funny?  Was he laughing at Cas?  What was he saying, of course he was laughing at Cas.  He was laughing because the thought of Cas’ little school-girl crush was apparently hysterical to him.  Cas wanted to run.  He wanted to be anywhere other than there at the moment. He wasn’t exactly expecting Dean to come running into his arms right away, but he wasn’t expecting him to laugh at him.

He looked at jinn Dean, who was about to start throwing punches here in a second.  Charlie was giggling along with Dean. She obviously didn’t understand fully what was happening or else she wouldn’t have been.  Would she?  No.  She was never one to think that her fathers’ relationship was strange.  She had a few crushes on some of the girls at her school along with a few boys, but they were mostly girls, and she was definitely very open and proud about about it.  One girl in particular, who she had brought home for playdates a few times before, was quite the little girl in Cas' opinion.  Her name was Dorothy.  She was a sweet girl who Charlie liked very much, and she was  always so polite, but she could hold her ground and wasn’t scared easily.  Dean and Cas were so glad that Charlie had found a good friend like her.

Dean continued laughing and Cas wanted to walk over there and punch him in the face but he didn't want Charlie to see him do something like that to somebody else.  And there was no way he could bring himself to hurt Dean like that.

It sorta made sense because most nightmares consisted of someone's fears. Rejection was currently Cas' worst fear.  And that’s what his mind kept throwing at him. Dean laughing at him was one form of rejection that he dreaded the most. Dean thinking that he was being hysterically ridiculous was one thing that Cas couldn't stand to think about.  And now he was watching it happen right in front of him.

Dean continued laughing and jinn Dean let go of Charlie's hand to to put a his on Cas' back and tried to guide him away from where they were standing.  Away from Dean.

"C'mon baby. All these people are just gonna hurt you. But I won't.  You can stay here with us and be safe forever." he said to him.  Oh no, he thought, Not the "Please stay" speech.  That only happens when one of the Winchesters is trying to get Cas to leave with him.    That meant he was going to have to stab himself again soon and watch his daughter and husband plead for him. "He's just a dick"

"He's you, Dean" Cas said back to him.

"But he's different from me.  He doesn't love you like I do.  He's not the father of your daughter, and he's not the reason that ring is on your finger".

"But you're not real" Cas whispered to himself.  "None of it's real".

Dean didn't pull out a knife like Cas had expected. Instead he wiped a single tear from his face that appeared from his extensive laughter.  

"That's real funny, Cas" he said, still trying to stop giggling.

Cas just looked at him with a hurt expression "Why are you doing this" He asked "what is so funny".

Dean started to say something but Cas was instantly yanked from his dream state.

**  
**

* * *

**  
**

"Cas! Cas. Buddy, wake up" Dean was shaking him awake.  

Cas sat up "What.  What happened? Why did you wake me?" he asked him. He was a little relieved to be released from that nightmare but he kind of wanted to hear what Dean was about to say to explain his finding humor in the situation

"You were talking in your sleep - well, yelling actually -  I could hear you all the way in my room I heard something like 'barkley' or  'Charlie'?  I don't know, it sounded kinda like that"

"Oh"

"Yeah, you okay man? Something seems to be bothering you lately" he asked him.

"Yes, I'm fine" he lied "when did you get back?" he asked.  He didn't really care, it didn't change what he was doing while he was gone.

“About one o’clock in the morning” he stated “I’m gonna go make some breakfast, you want anything?”  

Do I want anything? Doesn’t he see that I’m broken? Can’t he see I’m hurting? My heart is broken in about a million places and he’s asking if I want anything for breakfast.  “Just some coffee”  Cas replied, trying to let it go.  Ever since Cas became human he’s grown quite fond of coffee, but every time he made it, it just turned into a horrible tasting disaster of too much coffee grounds and not enough sugar so he just left the coffee making to Dean.

“You got it”  Dean straightened up and walked out of Cas’ room, and Cas noticed his pajama pants hanging low on his waist, just like they always did.  Cas smiled to himself but it quickly turned into a frown once reality came into play.  As it always did.

Cas  sat on his bed for a moment trying to comprehend what was humorous to Dean during his dream.  He knew damn well what it was, but he hoped that if he considered it enough then the reason would change.  He finally got up and walked into the kitchen, since he didn’t have to make any effort to get dressed, being as he had fallen asleep in his suit and coat.

 

* * *

“So Dean.  How was your night?” Sam asked as Dean started making the coffee.

He immediately regretted the question when he noticed Cas walking into the kitchen.

“Mornin’ Cas” Sam cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his usual chair at the table.  He was worried Dean would start talking about that girl that he went home with last night.

Cas sat down across from him and started tapping his fingers on the table.  “Good morning Sam”.  Dean came into the room where they were sitting and slid Cas’ coffee in front of him “Thank you Dean”

“Oh Sammy it was great.  She was real bendy.  And beautiful.”

Cas immediately knew what they were discussing.  Dean’s night.  He remembered when Dean would call him beautiful.  How it sounded.  It was one of those things that would just make you so astonishingly happy that you couldn’t help but smile.  But now he was using the word to describe someone else.  Cas needed to get out of there.  Before Dean saw him break down.

“Kinda like that girl back in-”

He was cut off by the sound of Cas’ chair sliding across the floor and slamming up against the wall as he stood, and walked out, with a look of furious rage.  Dean looked over at Sam, who was playing with corner of a newspaper and looking down at his other hand.

“What was that all about?”  Dean asked.

“Dean c’mon.  Like you don’t know.”

“Umm.. I’m lost. Care to explain the basics of the situation?”

“Really?”

“What?”  he asked.  He was beginning to get a little irritated with his brother.

“Dean,  I’ve seen the way you look at him.  There’s something there” he said “And you know damn well as I do that it’s mutual.”

“Sam, I have no idea what the hell your talking about?”

“Cas, Dean.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the last few days haven’t been exactly easy for him.”

“Well, yeah.  He was under that trance thing for a while, I didn’t expect him to exactly bounce back, but I don’t see what that has to do with me”

“Everything. It has everything to do with you, Dean” Sam was almost yelling now. “Don't you see that it’s killing him Dean?  Keeping it from you, and watching you live your life, going home with the first girl you see in the first bar you walk into.”

Dean was silent.  He didn’t really know what was going on so he didn’t really have anything to say at the moment.

“You were his jinn dream, Dean.  You.”

“What?” Dean said his eyes were wide but he didn’t know what emotion to label them with.  It was kind of all of them.

“Uhh..”  Now that he thought about it, Dean had always known something was there, whether his brother had just told him or not.  Maybe this was just the wake up call he needed.

“And every minute that you don’t go after him, is another minute that he’s in there wishing you’d grow a pair and admit it to yourself”

They sat for a moment both waiting for Dean to say something.  And he did.

“You’re right” he said suddenly.

Sam was a little surprised. If anything, he had expected Dean to deny it or at least avoid the subject. “What?”

“You’re right”  he repeated himself.  “There is something there.  And it has been for a long time.  But what do you want me to do? Go in there and just confess my love for the guy?  It’s not that easy, Sam”

“Why not, Dean?  Are you scared? Is it rejection?”

Dean was silent and Sam knew what that meant.  It meant yes. But you can just add that to the list of things that Dean Winchester won’t admit out loud.

“Dean I think we both know that that’s not something that you have to worry about here.” Sam said, gesturing in the direction Cas’ chair that was now laying on the floor.

Dean nodded and looked down at his hands.

“So what are you still doing here?” Sam was wondering why his brother wasn’t already seizing the subject.  “You should be in there. With him”

“Alright, Alright I’m going” he said putting his hands up in defense, as he got up and walked down the hall toward Cas’ bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading!! Next chapter will be Dean comforting Cas! I love hearing what you guys have to say in the comments and I would like to thank you for all the kudos and bookmarks! :)


	7. We Can Finally Let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... You're gonna have to read it...

Cas heard something that sounded like someone pacing outside his room.  He knew it was most likely Sam  wanting to talk, but Cas didn’t want to talk.  He just wanted to be alone right now.  Just him, sitting on his bed, twisting his ring, that’s all.  He didn’t want anyone there  while he cried and he didn’t know why Sam couldn’t understand that?

Cas waited a while but the sound just continued, so he decided to say something.  “Sam I really just wanna be alone right now.   I’m done talki-”

“Cas?”  he was interrupted by the voice coming from the hallway.  It wasn’t Sam.  Instead it was a different voice that he knew to be very familiar.  Dean.

“Dean?”  he called, wondering why the older Winchester was waiting outside his door.  “What do you want?” he suddenly spat out at him.  It may have been a bit harsh but Cas couldn’t help but be angry with him.  Not caused by betrayal but from jealously.

Dean didn’t say anything in response.  He just opened the door and walked over to where Cas was sitting on his bed, and sat down next to him.

Cas didn’t say anything about it, because it didn’t really bother him that Dean sat down. He actually wanted him to stay.

“Cas,  I’m sorry”

“For what?”  Cas was confused as to what Dean was apologizing for.  Although Cas did feel like his heart had  just been broken more times than one in the past couple days, and it was because of Dean, it’s not like Dean knew about it.  Unless he was being too obvious with his secret.  Oh no.  Cas could already hear Dean laughing just like in his nightmare from last night.

Dean started speaking again and broke him out of his train of thought.

 

“For being a dick”  he told him.

 What is he talking about? Cas thought.  This whole thing was very confusing to him.  What was Dean even doing in his room? On his bed?

“Dean, would you care to elaborate”  Cas questioned, remembering that he had just been crying and hoping there wasn’t very much post cry evidence left for Dean to see.  But if there was , Dean didn’t really seem to care.

“Cas I’m not very good with feelings or any of that stuff but… well and uh...”

 

“Yes?” Cas pushed.

“And I know that lately I’ve been kinda going home with a lot of girls and”  Dean continued.   _Oh no, this again_. Cas thought. He basically tuned him out by this point.  He was done hearing about this.  It was the reason he stormed out of the dining area in the first place.  And he didn’t want to be angered out of his own bedroom.  

Just when he was about to ask Dean to leave he listened just long enough to hear  the last part of his sentence. “-but that was all just sorta my own shitty way of distracting myself from what I really wanted.”

Cas was suddenly intrigued.  “And what exactly was that?”

“You Cas” Dean spoke softly and scooted closer to Cas “You”

Shock immediately overcame Cas’ expression once Dean spoke those words.   

Dean didn’t have the chance to say anything else because Cas was already tackling him into a very tight, intense hug.  It took Dean by surprise as he was brought into a lying position with Cas on top of him. They were laying at the foot of Cas’ bed and Dean quickly returned the hug without hesitation.  

They laid there for a few minutes both not wanting to leave, silently smiling to themselves. They had both finally gotten what they truly wanted.  Eachother.  And it was like nothing else in the world mattered but them.  Nothing at all.  Cas remembered the first time he’s hugged Dean like that in the jinn world.  It felt so good to have Dean in his arms, like he had waited for for so long.  But this wasn’t the jinn world.  This was different.  It was real.   Before, Cas knew it was fake but he was trying to enjoy it while it lasted.  This time, Dean was real and Cas could feel him.

Once he got  himself off of Dean, they both sat up, blushing profusely.  Dean looked down at his hands and then back up at Cas.

“So I take it the feeling is mutual?”  Dean questioned, using the action that just took place seconds before as a hint to what Cas was thinking about the situation.

“Yes” Cas chuckled.  Embarrassed, he looked down at his hands and started twisting his ring again.

Dean looked down at what Cas was doing and reached for his hand.  He gently wrapped his own fingers around Cas’ and observed the wedding band. “What’s this?” he asked.

“Umm… It’s nothing” Cas said shying away from Dean.

“Hey” Dean said quietly, lifting Cas’ chin to look at him. “C’mon, you can tell me”

“Ok. It’s a ring”

Dean looked at Cas waiting for more explanation but didn’t get any.  So he decided to add more questions to the mix.

“Well yeah but for what?”

“Well, it was for uh… It was for. Us”  It was sorta a strange way to word the sentence, but Cas didn’t know how else to explain.  Maybe he shouldn’t have told him yet.  Was it too early? They had just started talking a few minutes ago. He was expecting a strange look from the man opposite of him, but instead, he got a small smile.  

“You don’t need this anymore, Cas”  Dean said, slowly sliding the ring off Cas’ finger and moving forward to set in on the nightstand.  “This was fake me.  But I’m real, and I’m here now.  And so are you.  So you can let go.  Finally, we can both let go, and just be together”

Cas was completely speechless.   Where had this all come from?  He was scared that maybe he was dreaming.  Had he been in this room long enough to have fallen asleep and finally had a good dream?

 

 But then he felt it, once again, the electric tingle that went threw his skin as Dean smoothed his palm across Cas’ cheek, and he knew this was real.

“Come here”  Dean said as he moved across the bed to sit back against the wall behind it.  Cas scooted backwards till he was sitting next to Dean.  He still didn’t fully understand how comfortable Dean was with this, so he didn’t move any closer

It was clear that he was pretty comfortable when he looked at Cas and asked “what are you doing clear over there?” and patted the spot next to him welcoming Cas into his arms.  He gladly accepted the invitation, but once he moved over Dean sat up.  

“Hey.  I was gonna watch a movie before we left for our next hunt.  Do you wanna watch it with me?”  He offered.

“Yes, I would love to watch a movie with you Dean”

Dean got up and walked into his room.  When he came back he was holding a laptop and a movie case that Cas could barely make the letters out to.   But then he saw it.  The letters splayed across the front of the case “Star Trek”.

Dean sat back down, and inserted the disc into the side of the laptop.  

It started up with some previews, and Dean switched the lamp off.  They were in complete darkness, except for the laptop screen illuminating both of their faces.

“I love you, Dean”  Cas didn’t even mean to say it.  The words just erupted out of him, almost like he couldn't wait to say them again.

He waited a moment for a response but none came.   _Shit_.  He hoped he hadn't just scared him off.  Why didn't Cas’ common sense ever stop him from opening his mouth.

But then Dean spoke four words that Cas had waited what seemed like centuries, for him to say out loud, and it sent shudders down his spine, “I love you too, angel”  

Cas moved his head up and looked into Dean’s kind green eyes, while Dean stared right back at him.  Damn, those eyes could stop wars.  It was then that Cas leaned up a little more to place a soft but meaningful kiss to Dean’s lips.  It wasn’t much, but it was more than either of them could have ever asked for.  

He lowered his head back down so that it was rested on Dean’s chest, and Dean wrapped his arm around Cas, placing a soft kiss into his hair.

Cas nuzzled his head into Dean’s chest and watched his own tear fall onto the fabric of Dean’s black ACDC t-shirt, as Dean carded his fingers through the ex-angels hair. _It was finally real._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end! If any of you were confused, I'm sorry. I tried to make it pretty obvious, but he pretty much ended up in the same spot that they were at the beginning of the story (but it was real this time).  
> Anyways, thank you all ssooo much for reading! It means a lot to me! I love getting comments from you guys and the kudos are really apprciated! I'm gonna be writing some new ones pretty soon so you should go check them out. They will be mostly Destiel and maybe a little Sabriel. Mostly just short little stories and stuff. Anyway, Thank you. love you. Bye :)


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